its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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