we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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