i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
