hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
