hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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