Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
