separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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