You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
