he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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