How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize