so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
