I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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