He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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