I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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