i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We're too hungover to prance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
