he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
