apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize