Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
