Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
