Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
