Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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