they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
