In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
