i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
