i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
