No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
