the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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