week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
