I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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