The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
