So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
