If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
