Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
