so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
