i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize