this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
