Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
