I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
