The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I am morally bankrupt
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize