don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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