Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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