I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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