Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
