morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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