Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
