His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
