i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
