do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
