It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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