My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
