There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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