At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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