I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You did what with his pubic hair?
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