her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
