I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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