You made me cry and you don't even care
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
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just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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