I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
