Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I believe in your delicious
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
